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2000s rom-com or the wonderland of wrong ideas about love

Am I late to the conclusion that Rom-Com movies wrongly led us to believe how a man should behave? 

Currently in between two jobs (having left my Senior Fashion Editor position I occupied for almost 5 years). As I'm taking the time to calm my nerves and get rid of my anxiety before starting a new job,  I enjoy my free fall days by watching movies I've probably watched a million times. 

Although Just Like Heaven was probably my favorite rom-com growing up, now at 28 years old with no diamond ring on my finger, but an 8 years long relationship to my record and a "still not ready" boyfriend by my side, the Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo love stories tasted different. The "I love you" moment you waited for the whole time sounded not right... Well, I know what you think. Obviously, it's just a movie. And no, some random guy can't really see the ghost of a "stuck in a coma" girl because they were supposed to meet but didn't because he canceled the date and she had an accident; let alone fall in love with her ghost in only a few days. If there's one thing binge-watching Love is Blind has taught me, is that it's not love but rather lust, or chemicals that led you to believe you're in love after you've spent all your time with someone. 

As the credit rolled down, I was not finished with the whole rom-com nonsense. Next up was Carrie Pilby. Have you ever seen the movie where a child prodigy who has trouble enjoying her life in NYC meets a cute neighbor, who you might have seen in Narnia? He takes her dancing in the middle of the busy street, lends her his coat while she's shaking in her sweater in the middle of winter, and they kiss under the new year's eve fireworks on the fire escape stairs of their building. Who has even danced in the middle of the street at midnight anyway?

If the way I've met my boyfriend and the love of my life could be the plot of a Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers movie (let's keep this story for another time), my relationship is far from being as dreamy as Harry and Sally. Okay, I'll admit I can't really complain, having found love in actual real life rather than on an app. But, being an adult, in an adult relationship, I'll say that life is far far far far away from what we see on TV. I am aware that I'm late to the conclusion that rom-com from the 2000s are highly overrated and dated, especially for younger generations. But, what about us? The generation that grew up thinking that a man could actually love to cook you dinner, serenade you in a fire escape of your building, and cry because they've spent an amazing week with you in snowy England and they now have to watch you drive back to the airport to return to sunny Los Angeles. Where are the men, romantic movies from the 90s and 2000s created in our minds? 

While I am aware I'm a lucky girl in a happy relationship, silly me, thought that when leaving Paris, my boyfriend, and my dog, for a fun and chill week in New York City, my boyfriend would surprise me during this trip and finally propose. Spoiler alert, it did not happen. If I'm not actually disappointed by the lack of diamond on my left hand, I am indeed disappointed that my life lacks some Kate Hudson rom-com potential. Especially after walking the streets of New York City with my own movie soundtrack like I was Meg Rayan in You've Got Mail. Imagine my surprise, when my lovely boyfriend did not come to join me on this lovely trip but did drive to pick me up at the airport and even greeted me with croissants. I'll leave out the fact that he did not see me coming out of the "arrivals door" and I actually had to stand in front of him with my tired-looking eyes and my two suitcases for him to realize that yes, the strange girl in her PJ in an airport, was me. 

Why do we always expect men to do more? To actually act like they're from a romantic storyline, standing in front of our front door, after a fight, with cardboards listing every reason they love us? Why are we so disappointed when they come into the living room asking what's for dinner when we thought that they'd have organized a date night, dinner in a nice restaurant, followed by a walk under the stars, all of that with a classical band following us? 

Well, I know why. Because the reality is, and I apologize for ruining your dreams, far from what we see on TV. Because in real life, there's stress, there're tiring work days, a dog to walk, dinner to cook, laundry to do, cleaning waiting for our time, and just not enough time or energy to act like we're in a movie. And it can be hard to realize when all we see on social media is how lucky couples act like they're on their honeymoon all the time. But breaking news people, what we see is only what people want to show, just like a rom-com. 

And while I'm writing this rant, knowing I can't really complain about my love life, especially when my lovely boyfriend did organize a surprise date night in an incredible Italian restaurant. I do feel lucky to be in love and to have found love in real life. 

Although, a girl can't never have too much romanticism in her life, ever.




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